More Trouble With Cats
by Belle Walker
Summary: Pepper has outgrown her runty-ness, but not her knack for troublemaking. Sequel to "The Trouble With Cats".
1. Chapter 1

As always, Pepper met him at the door when he entered his apartment. She wound herself around his feet, forcing his steps to pause, and looked with interest at the large paper bag he carried.

"Hey, Pep," Dennis greeted her. He set the grocery bag on the counter and bent to pet his cat.

Pepper was older now, and bigger, but still very much a lively kitten at heart. She jumped onto the counter to investigate the bag, sure that it contained something for her.

"Get out of there!" Dennis scolded, lifting her front half back out of the bag before dropping her gently to the floor. "Behave yourself."

The feline stretched up on hind legs to paw toward the countertop. "Mrrr?" she asked.

"We have a date tonight," Dennis informed his cat as he began emptying the paper grocery bag. " _I'm_ going to make Caroline a homemade lasagna, and _you_ are going to be on your best behavior. Or else," he added firmly with a knowing look at the little troublemaker.

He tossed the empty paper bag to the floor for Pepper to play in.

Pepper happily dove inside, delighting in the loud crinkles it made with her movements.

Dennis chuckled at the ample amount of tail protruding from the opening, twitching as Pepper pretended...whatever she was pretending in her little cat brain at the moment.

Pepper had grown larger and sleeker over the past few months, but she was still a bit fluffy in places. Her tail happened to be one of the fluffiest places.

Like a long black dustmop, it skimmed the floor as it swished back and forth before it darted inside the bag with the rest of the plump furry body.

Satisfied that his nuisance of a feline would be distracted with the bag for at least a little while, Dennis began his lasagna.

His date tonight — Caroline — was greatly impressed by men who were able to cook. So Dennis intended to show her that his cooking skills were not limited to a microwave and a frozen box dinner (even though that was pretty much what he lived on. Well, that and takeout food).

No, tonight Dennis was going to impress Caroline with a lasagna made entirely from scratch by his own two hands. His mom used to make lasagna all the time — how hard could it be?

Without warning Pepper suddenly blazed out of the paper bag and skidded into the livingroom, claws out and feet scrambling for grip on the slippery linoleum floor.

Something crashed in the livingroom.

"Demon cat," Dennis muttered to himself, not even bothering anymore to see what Pepper had broken this time.

Don't get him wrong — he loved his cat. She was a sweetheart when she wasn't being a demolitionist. She just happened to also be mildly insane.

Dennis set out the tools of his task: plastic mixing bowl, wooden spoon, glass baking dish, and a tall metal pot to boil the lasagna noodles in. He'd had to purchase these along with his ingredients because he had no such items already. He'd never needed them before.

Dennis consulted the recipe page that he'd torn from a magazine. It had a delicious-looking picture of what the finished product should look like.

He was confident in his potential ability to recreate that picture reasonably well.

Feeling very optimistic, Dennis began the first steps of the recipe.

First he filled the tall pot with water to boil the lasagna noodles in, set it on the largest stove burner, and turned the knob to "high".

Next he sprayed his baking dish with nonstick cooking oil and set it by his bowl on the work counter.

On cue, a furry black beast leapt onto the counter beside his bowl.

"Shoo!" Dennis flicked one hand in Pepper's direction.

She shooed, but not in the direction Dennis had expected her to go. Instead she hopped over the mixing bowl and landed neatly with all four feet in the middle of the glass baking dish.

"Get out of that!"

Dennis grabbed for her but Pepper was too fast. The baking dish sailed into the bowl thanks to the force of strong cat legs (was she part kangaroo?) jumping out of it.

The plastic bowl clattered to the floor, and the glass baking dish would have followed had Dennis not grabbed it in time.

He'd have to wash the dish again before he could use it. Dirty little cat feet had been in the litter box and everywhere else too and they didn't need to be in his food.

The empty bowl had landed right-side-up on the floor so Dennis figured it was still clean enough to use as-is.

But the glass baking dish — which Dennis had sprayed with the nonstick cooking oil — now sported greasy smeared paw prints in the bottom.

Persistently wanting to be involved in everything that her human did, Pepper vaulted onto the oversized, old-fashioned kitchen sink and watched in fascination as Dennis put soap and water into the dish and slopped it around with a rag.

She tried to grab the stream of water coming from the faucet but only succeeded in getting her paw wet. Offended, she turned her back on the sink and primly cleaned that evil wetness off her foot.

Dennis chuckled at Pepper's dislike of the water that she had stuck her own foot into.

He rinsed and dried his dish, and sprayed it once more with the nonstick cooking oil.

Pepper hopped again from the sink back to the counter that Dennis was using for his workstation.

He was never going to get his lasagna made if he kept stopping every ten seconds to remove the cat. So this time he decided to just ignore her.

And Pepper ignored him now too, but only because a fly had captured her attention instead.

It buzzed about, here and there, to and fro, finally coming to land on the rim of the bowl Dennis was now adding ingredients to.

Dennis halfheartedly swatted at the fly with the same hand that held the salt shaker just as Pepper pounced at the winged intruder.

She didn't catch the fly but she did succeed in knocking the salt shaker out of Dennis' hand and right into the bowl of lasagna filling.

Dennis sighed stiffly, closing his eyes and clenching his teeth.

"She's just a cat," he said out loud to keep his actions in check. "She doesn't know better. Her brain's the size of a peach pit."

He shooed Pepper off the counter once again and picked the salt shaker out of the lasagna filling. Hopefully not much salt had escaped into the bowl to corrupt his recipe.

He rinsed off the salt shaker and put it in the cupboard for safekeeping. He hesitated a moment over his bowl before deciding to just stir it all up and not worry about the extra salt.

Oh, he'd forgotten to preheat the oven. And his noodle water was already boiling.

Dennis only turned his back for a minute, but it was enough time for Pepper to resume her self-appointed place on the counter.

This time she investigated the bowl of filling and boldly helped herself to it.

"Are you kidding me?!" Dennis bellowed at the cat. He grabbed the nearest object — his flimsy dishtowel — and flung it at her. "Good-for-nothing monster!"

Pepper sprang away from the flying dishtowel, her back legs hitting the bowl and sending it crashing to the floor once again. Upside down this time, of course.

Defeated, Dennis wiped his hands down his face. "I give up."

Forcing himself not to throw everything in his kitchen at his destructive little marauder, he picked up the phone instead.

Dennis had two options: cancel dinner, or order it delivered.

His opportunity to woo Caroline with a homemade meal was ruined. He couldn't salvage the food but he could still salvage the rest of the evening if he acted quickly.

Grumbling to himself about a four-legged miniature terrorist, he dialed a number he knew by heart.

"Tony's Take-out and Delivery," the voice on the other end of the line greeted.

A very aggravated Dennis placed his order.


	2. Chapter 2

Dennis fumed as he turned off the oven and the stovetop burner and cleaned up the huge splat of ruined lasagna filling off the floor.

Pepper had wisely made herself scarce now, otherwise she would have been in the middle of the cleanup too. Quite literally.

Dennis might even be tempted to use her as the mop.

But he made do with the actual mop, leaving the big wet spot to air dry as he now went to his bedroom to change into a nice shirt and pants for his date.

Dennis shut the bedroom door to keep Pepper out while his closet was open. Pepper loved to sneak into his closet whenever the opportunity presented itself, and it didn't seem to be a hobby she was going to abandon anytime soon.

Dennis passed up his usual daily choice of blue jeans and instead pulled out the only pair of dressy slacks he owned.

He used to own a suit...until Pepper made her first foray into the closet, that is. He could only assume she'd mistaken the suit for Godzilla or something, and valiantly fought it off to protect her home.

Since that incident, Dennis had become a lot more proactive in keeping the closet shut with the cat on the outside of it.

He wasn't always successful, but more often than not.

Silent as a cat burglar, Pepper now came out from under the bed and leapt to the top of it. (If she'd been able to talk, she would have told her human that he wasted both time and energy in shutting the bedroom door to keep her out when she was already in.)

She immediately made herself at home on the nice clean slacks she found on the bed. She examined the wooden hanger with her nose for a moment before deciding to knead the fabric with her sharp little claws.

One claw got stuck in the threads for a second but it was no match for the cat's muscle and she tugged herself free with just a little bit of a snag in the fabric.

Finished with her kneading, Pepper turned in a circle twice before plopping down again in the center of the garment and settling in for a nap.

But her nap lasted barely five seconds before someone rudely yanked the pants out from under her. She popped awake, offended, and snatched at the fabric with both front paws, snagging it further.

"Stop that!" her owner admonished. "Let go!"

Pepper let go, but only because she wanted to. After all, she couldn't dart rebelliously into the forbidden closet that her owner had negligently left open if she was clinging to clothing on the bed.

Quickly she jumped off the bed, but Dennis was a split-second faster than her and he slammed the closet door shut right in the nick of time.

"Hah!" Dennis gloated at his cat. "Slowpoke."

Pepper stuck her foot under the closet door, reached as far as she could, and even did a little somersault, but try as she might, she just couldn't get it to open again.

Chuckling at his cat's predictable antics, Dennis changed into his clean clothes.

He tossed the previously worn shirt and pants on his bed for Pepper to lounge on, but then thought better of it on the off-chance that Caroline might request a tour of his apartment and be put off by his sloppiness.

Dennis threw the dirty clothes into the laundry basket in the bathroom and hid the basket in the shower.

He'd lost a chunk of time with the destruction of his lasagna and its subsequent cleanup. He'd tried to time it so the lasagna would be ready to remove from the oven just a few minutes before or after Caroline's arrival...but now that there was no lasagna, the time was instead spent waiting on the delivery he'd ordered.

Dennis watched the clock on the wall as the minutes ticked away. It was getting later and later, and sometime soon his date would be arriving and expecting a meal that wasn't there yet.

Dennis sighed, already figuring his date was a bust before it even began.

Finally, the doorbell rang.

Pepper spooked slightly at the sound — she wasn't accustomed to hearing it much since they rarely ever had visitors — but she didn't run away. Instead she followed her human to the door, darting in front of his feet because he was moving slower than she preferred.

Of course it wasn't Tony's delivery boy with the food. Of course it was Caroline.

Just as beautiful as always, her petite frame barely filled half of his doorway, even with the oversized coat she wore.

Seeing the newcomer, Pepper halted in her tracks and abruptly backed up against Dennis' legs, ready to run if need be.

Her back arched, her fur stood on end, and her already lush tail swelled to twice its normal size. With huge round eyes she stared at this interloper like a deer caught in headlights. A strange squeak escaped from her throat.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Dennis asked the cat as seriously as if Pepper was human and would answer him in the same manner.

But Caroline brushed it off easily with a cute laugh. "Oh, it's probably my coat. Rabbit fur, you know. My sister's cat does the same kind of thing."

"Well, it's a very nice coat," Dennis complimented, dismissing his cat's bizarre behavior and helping his date out of her oversized white fur.

He gently laid the coat on his bed for safekeeping, and somehow managed to catch Pepper mid-leap as she aimed for it.

Dennis firmly held Pepper captive with both arms as he made sure to shut the bedroom door tightly to keep her out of it.

He did _not_ want to be financially responsible for a destroyed rabbit fur coat. That thing probably cost more than his entire month's salary.

Dennis set Pepper on the floor outside the closed bedroom door and she shot off again like a rocket.

"Hey, do you mind if I borrow your restroom a minute?" Caroline's voice floated toward him from the livingroom.

"Uh, no problem," he answered, emerging from the small hallway. "That door right there."

"Thanks!" Caroline slipped past him and disappeared into the bathroom.

In a flash of fur out of the corner of his eye, Dennis saw Pepper dive head-first into the oversized purse that Caroline had set down near the apartment's front door.

"Hey! Get out of that! Psst!" He snapped his fingers at Pepper and started toward her, but she just as quickly abandoned the purse and innocently pranced away.

One potential crisis averted, Dennis detoured to the kitchen instead. From the fridge he pulled a homemade apple pie — courtesy of his mother — and set it in the oven on a low temperature to warm up.

The pie would be a perfect dessert after a less-than-perfect dinner.

Speaking of dinner, where was the food? Tony's didn't usually take _this_ long to deliver.

Unless of course they were overwhelmed with customers...which was entirely possible. Not because they were popular — they weren't — but because they had only one delivery boy and he didn't always have a bicycle to use.

Maybe Dennis should have ordered from somewhere else.

With a mildly worried sigh, he meandered to his couch to wait for his date to come out of his bathroom.

Caroline reappeared soon and joined him comfortably on the couch.

Pepper was nowhere in sight now but Dennis didn't hear anything crashing, so he figured she must have retreated to the kitchen for some quiet time since she was banished from the bedroom.

He relaxed and engaged Caroline in some pleasant small talk, mostly about her nursing career but a little bit about his job at Teshima too.

A furry black body streaked through his livingroom, darting past the coffeetable and disappearing under the couch.

Well, so much for peace and quiet.

Wait…what was she batting around under there? Hopefully nothing important.

Dennis peered over the side of the couch to see what Pepper had found to play with. He was just quick enough to see what looked like a lipstick tube roll across the floor and vanish under the bookcase.

Great, his cat was a thief. She must have stolen the lipstick from Caroline's purse when she'd dived into it.

Well, a mere lipstick wasn't worth exposing his cat's thievery, so Dennis kept calm and quiet.

Pepper, on the other hand, was the opposite of calm and quiet. She galloped over to the bookcase where her stolen loot had gone and shoved her front feet under there too.

"I swear she's possessed or something," Dennis commented mildly, watching his cat flip and flop and somersault in an attempt to retrieve her new toy from under the bookcase.

"Aww, she's just happy," Caroline answered with a light chuckle. "But you should get another cat so she has a playmate."

Heh, as if. The last thing Dennis needed was _two_ cats destroying his home.

But he answered with a "Yeah, maybe," just to please his date.

Eventually Pepper seized her prize and absconded with it again back into the kitchen.

Dennis was just about ready to give up on his food order when the doorbell finally rang.

"Excuse me," he voiced politely to his guest, rising from the couch and heading for the door.

Caroline looked surprised when Dennis came back with the takeout food which he set on the coffeetable, but she followed his lead in spooning the various offerings onto her plate.

Conversation waned a bit with the pair now eating, and Dennis couldn't tell if his date was pleased with the meal or not.

"How is it?" he asked, referring to the food. "Good?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Caroline answered kindly. "It's...good." She hesitated a second before continuing, "There's just...one little thing."

Oh, god. What? Hair in the food? _Cat_ hair in the food?

"Maybe I misunderstood...but I thought you said _you_ were going to cook."

Oh. Busted.

"Yeah...umm…to be honest, I was just trying to impress you," Dennis admitted with a sigh, preparing to rat out his terrorist of a cat with a full explanation.

Caroline gave him an apologetic little smile, lifting one of the cardboard takeout containers off the coffeetable. "Dennis…Tony's Take-Out has _never_ been impressive."

Dennis frowned. Those weren't the words he wanted to hear. "Oh, believe me — I tried. In fact, I had a delicious lasagna all planned out. But unfortunately, I severely underestimated my four-legged saboteur."

And he described in thorough detail the epic disaster that Pepper had orchestrated.

"Well I'm still very impressed that you _tried_ ," Caroline offered sincerely, wiping away her tears of laughter from his story. "Lasagna can be difficult, even without a cat sabotaging everything."

He was very relieved to hear her say that. And his respect for her went up several more notches because she was able to look past the failure and appreciate the attempt.

"Well…Pepper didn't ruin _everything_ ," Dennis revealed. "There's still dessert."

"Dessert?" Caroline echoed with interest. "What have you got?"

Dennis gave her a little half-grin. "My mom's apple pie. It's been warming up in the oven."

"I knew I smelled spiced apples!" Caroline exclaimed. "I thought it was just a candle or something."

"Believe me, it's better than any candle," Dennis answered, getting up to grab a pot holder and pull the pie out of the oven. It looked perfect, and he gave silent thanks that Pepper was incapable of opening appliance doors.

"I think I could live off my mom's pie," Dennis continued out loud, placing the pie on the counter and cutting two generous slices.

Caroline inhaled deeply. "I could live off that scent alone."

Dennis immediately put the rest of the pie into the fridge to keep Pepper out of it, and thanked his lucky stars that she hadn't violated the plated slices for the three seconds that his back was turned.

He added a dollop of whipped cream to each of the two slices on the plates and carried the dessert and two clean forks to the couch.

Caroline easily abandoned her container of takeout in favor of the pie. "Mmmm," she said after the first bite. "This is delicious."

"Told ya," Dennis answered cheerfully. He spread his whipped cream to cover every corner of his slice, then he took a forkful of pie himself.

Caroline's second bite of pie was interrupted by something tickling at her cheek. She turned her head to find two curious green eyes and a long-whiskered black face beside hers.

"Well, hello there precious," Caroline greeted. "Been up to some mischief, have you?"

"Mrrr?" Pepper inquired. She reached a paw toward the dessert plate in Caroline's hand but she couldn't quite reach it.

So it really must've been just the rabbit fur coat that had spooked her earlier, if she was okay with Caroline now minus the coat.

Dennis was torn between removing the beggar from the back of the couch, and observing how his date might interact with his sweet but destructive pet.

Caroline, not the least bit fazed by the hovering presence of their little chaperone, scooped up a tiny speck of apple on the tip of her fork and offered it to the vulture at her shoulder.

Pepper obligingly sniffed it, decided she wanted none of it, and jumped down without further incident.

"Well, that's fine," Caroline commented matter-of-factly. "More for me."

Dennis grinned to himself. He liked this girl more and more with every passing minute.

And Pepper possibly agreed, because she deliberately bumped the top of her head against Caroline's ankle boot. In cat language, that was akin to a friendly hug.

She propped two front feet on the edge of the coffeetable where the takeout containers still sat open and stretched her neck to investigate the nearest one.

But the smell was a very familiar one and she already knew she didn't like the taste of whatever food had that smell, so there was no reason for her to bother with it now.

Besides, it was time for a nap. And where better for a nap than on her human's lap?

"Aah!" Dennis gasped in pained surprise as Pepper suddenly leapt very heavily onto his lap. How on earth did a seven-pound cat make itself feel like a one-ton boulder all of a sudden?

Pepper began to knead her human's thigh with agonizingly sharp claws but her front feet were both instantly seized by two strong hands.

Dennis extricated his pants fabric from Pepper's needle-like talons, feeling holes in his leg that matched up with the holes in his pants.

He rearranged Pepper on his lap in a much less damaging position which she accepted easily.

"Aww, she's so cute," Caroline cooed, stroking Pepper's furry head.

Pepper soaked up the attention, rolling onto her back and exposing her belly in the hopes of a good belly scratch.

Dennis indulged her, grateful that she was finally behaving herself for a while.


	3. Chapter 3

"I had a nice time tonight," Caroline said with sincerity as Dennis helped her back into her coat later that night before she left for home.

"You really didn't mind the take-out food?" Dennis felt the need to ask. "I know I promised you home-cooked."

Caroline gave him a sweet smile. "Dennis…the majority of the men I know can barely even operate a _microwave_. The fact that you tried to cook something real for me in the first place…it says a lot about you."

She leaned upward and gave him a little kiss. "Maybe next time _I'll_ cook _you_ dinner," she added with a flirty look in her pretty eyes.

Dennis grinned, sliding his arms around her waist inside the open front of her fur coat. "Don't forget dessert," he quipped lightly, pulling her closer for a more satisfying kiss.

Several more kisses later, and Caroline finally broke away from him with a little laugh. "I really do have to go," she insisted. But she stole just one more kiss first. "Call me."

She bent and picked up her oversized purse, surprised at the sudden weight it had gained. Setting it back down, she reached both hands inside and lifted Pepper out.

"See you next time, you little stinker," she said, smooching Pepper on the top of her silky head.

Pepper purred at her despite being held near that provocative fur coat, but she was quickly set down on the floor without a proper cuddle from this departing new friend.

So she stretched up on her hind feet, reaching front paws toward her owner and looking for another hand to pet her. "Mrrr?"

Dennis looked down at the furry black varmint who sought his attention. He was still mad at Pepper for ruining his dinner plan…but after the pleasant way the date had ended, he was finding it hard to stay mad any longer.

Caroline had been impressed with his cooking attempt, sympathetic to his failure, and still willing to see him again.

Now Dennis wasn't so sure the evening would have gone as good if he _had_ managed to make the lasagna.

He reached down to pick up Pepper, mentally let his kitty off the hook.

The failed dinner wasn't _all_ Pepper's fault — Dennis should have remembered to shut her in the bathroom or something before even starting to cook.

In his quest to build a fancy and impressive dish, he'd simply forgotten that his cat always liked to be in the middle of everything.

Pepper was an innocent saboteur. She didn't know any better.

And she was probably hungry by now too, even though she'd eaten some of the lasagna filling earlier.

Dennis gave his cat a proper cuddle on his shoulder just the way she liked it before he set her back down on the floor.

For a special treat, he opened a can of tuna and plopped the whole amount into Pepper's bowl. He rubbed her soft black ears as she licked greedily at the juicy glob of stinky fish, purring in appreciation.

Dennis threw the empty tuna can into the trash and put the remains of the take-out food into the refrigerator. He snagged one more bite of his mom's apple pie too.

Dishes went into the sink to be dealt with tomorrow, and the kitchen light was turned off for the night.

As he exited the kitchen, something crunched under his shoe. He stopped and lifted his foot, seeing small shards of plastic and a thick smear of reddish-pink on the linoleum floor.

Dennis sighed and rolled his eyes upward. It was the lipstick Pepper had stolen from Caroline's purse.

He looked over his shoulder at Pepper still happily chowing down on the bowl of tuna. "She's only a cat," he reminded himself firmly. "She's _only_ a _cat_."

But cats sure were an awful lot of trouble.

 _(the end.)_


End file.
